DES MOINES, Iowa — Gregory Neal and his husband Kade Rogers have been at Grace United Methodist Church since April 23, 2023.
This comes after an unfortunately necessary move. Pastor Neal was suspended from the ministry he served at in Texas for getting married to his husband.
While it was an unimaginable time for this couple, they said they're grateful to be where they are now.
Gregory Neal, Pastor at Grace United Methodist Church, said being here now is “freeing, in many ways, freeing because we are able to be ourselves to be in mission and ministry here with a congregation that loves and accepts us and has welcomed us warmly with open arms. And it's a very exciting place to be."
As thousands of churches are leaving United Methodist, this local church is staying.
"It was never a question that Grace United Methodist Church is going to stay in the United Methodist Church. It's a socially progressive congregation," Neal said. "So, its approach and its journey is one that is in line with the denomination as a whole."
While this church is staying with United Methodist Churches, Neal is looking toward changes.
“I believe that change is going to happen … I believe that in 2024, the General Conference will remove the incompatibility clause from the social principles and the regulations on the ordination of self-avowed practicing homosexuals, and marriage of LGBTQ persons within our congregations," Neal said.
In 2024, Neal is hopeful for acceptance of same sex marriage in the church. However, right now is still a time of great stress.
“So many LGBTQ+ people have waited for so many years for the rules in our denomination to change. I personally know people who have waited so long that they're no longer with us. The rules didn't change in their lifetime," said Kade Rogers, Neal's husband.
Being an openly gay married couple comes with challenges.
“We came from an environment where it very much so felt like we were no longer welcome. They're sort of ran us out of town, if you will. It's kind of how it felt to the two of us. Just coming off our marriage, one of the happiest times of your life, right? And just not knowing what was going to happen. And there were many months that went by, we didn't know what was going to happen. And we had faith that God was going to provide for us," Rogers said.
Rogers told Local there is a place and plenty of support for everyone.
“I grew up thinking that I could not be a Christian. I knew I was gay. So, I understand that struggle," Rogers said. "That feeling of sitting in the pew and knowing that if they knew this, they probably wouldn't want me here. So, if you're that kid, sitting in the pew, there is a place for you."
The couple originally wanted to get married in 2020, but they were waiting for the General Conference to put an official stamp of approval on same sex marriage.
After the conference was delayed in 2020 due to the pandemic, it continued to be delayed until 2024.
The couple decided they couldn't wait any longer to be married; they knew the time was now.
They were married in Oct. 1, 2022.
“We did it. And we're grateful we did it, but there was a price to pay. And I think that the General Conference in [20]24 will open our denomination to full inclusion for all without consideration for sexual orientation or gender identity," Neal said.
“It was absolutely wonderful marrying him. It was the perfect day, it was a perfect ceremony, and I got to marry my best friend. So coming off that high, because there was quite a low following that, It was very difficult. Our conference in North Texas very much pushed back against us after getting married," Rogers said.
Leaving home because of love was hard for the couple.
"It was very difficult to see friends of mine who I thought were friends of mine, not follow through with the support that I thought we were going to hear, and it was a very lonely, isolating feeling," Rogers said.
Now at Grace United Methodist Church, they feel more welcomed than ever.
“This church has a long history of being open and accepting. And being here means that we can be ourselves. Being in this church means we can openly share love with one another and share love with this community," Rogers said. "And I am so excited that we get to do that here, and that they have allowed us in and have embraced us the way to have."
For those who are looking for support or guidance, Neal says that the most important thing is to be open.
“Be open to what you're hearing, be willing to take a chance to take a risk, to ask questions, to listen to the answers, to be willing to try it out. One of the neat things about today is we have the internet, and most churches have their services online," Neal said.
There are about 30,000 United Methodist Churches across the country, and over 6,000 have left the denomination over the recognition of marriage equality. Of those churches, 83 of those were in Iowa.
Neal said that he expects that there will be even more leaving by the end of November.
Watch the full interview with Rogers and Neal below:
